Friday, April 16, 2010

Day in the Life of an Un-Handy Girl

Day in the Life of an UN-Handy Girl

The day starts out with a phone call from one of my favorite cousins, Regg. He asks if I can help him. Quite a few things on my plate for the day so ask how long it’s gonna be. He confidently replies. “No more than 30 minutes. I just need you to drive a rig. They will be loaded on the trailer when you get here” K, No problem. Call me when you’re ready for me, I reply.

I get a call about an hour later & head down to the corrals. Oscar in tow, seems like the perfect time for some training. We get there… cows are loaded. Regg & David are in the alley sorting. Soon I’m being yelled at to come run a gate. My Dad is being bad bad bad…not listening & my helpful collar is out of batteries or something….but It’s not working! Catch him and make some adjustments…still nothing! Hmmm….dang it!

Next we head into a corral to sort out some more pairs. I’m still yelling at my dog…No…Get Out….No! Not really paying too much attention to the cows. Next thing I know, this big ol cow comes straight out of the heard at Regg! She has him lined out & isn’t weakening! I have a perfect view from behind! He’s running! She’s right behind him! He tries to zig or zag but to no avail! He is right between her horns & just hits them no matter what way he tries to go! She got him in the ribs once. He finally makes it to the fence! Wooshka! She is on the bunt now! It was awesome! She looked just like an Ol Cow in a Will James book…..cross that with a slow motion cartoon chase & you’ve got it! Dang it! I wish I had my camera! (heck ya, I would’ve took a picture…I couldn’t yell to distract her…was right behind them just would’ve made them go faster) Good thing she never out her head down, she’d have knocked him down for sure! (Just for the record, my dog wasn’t standing by Regg when he got hooked…but I definitely tied him up as soon as I could catch him so I didn’t have a Doggy Target standing by me ;)

Woo….that was pretty wild! Finally get some pairs sorted out! I’m paying attention now! That ol’ girl is still pretty excited! We repeat this process of sorting out pairs a few more times….minus the full on getting hooked. (She attempted a few more times but didn’t commit)

We are making another sort up the alley & back. I’m running the alley gate & doing a piss poor job really. Let one big horned red cow back. Ok, paying better attention now, being more aggressive. K, well, now I’ve got cows sorting to me & cows coming back from my alley wanting back in! They aren’t happy but most can be buffaloed back. I’ve got my gate closed now until the sort is ready to come to me. Holy crap! There is this twisted horned cow right there…. Maybe I’m not fooling her as much as I thought! David is yelling at me to let the sorted cow out. Ol Twisted horn has me on the gate & I’m kicking her in the head trying to get her back so I can open the gate for the sort! Geez!

Finally, we get one trailer loaded & I hop into pull it up so we can load another one. Ya, I here Regg yelling WHOA! I cut it to sharp & was fixing to take out the side of his barn. Dang it…not on my A Game ; ) Back up, swing wider, thanks for not letting me hit that Regg. Get another set loaded with little to no problems.

As David & Regg are leaving to go unload, David asks me to go get in the calves that have got out threw holes in the fence so we are ready when they come back to load. “Sure, no problem” I reply. Ellie (Regg & McKell’s daughter) wants to stay & help her awesome cousin Mindy. We head down the alley to the far pens & escaped calves. Making a wide circle, we get them all pushed up against fence on the short side of the corral & head towards the gate. Well, this fence borders the pen with the Cows in it. Shocking, but that big red longhorn is still on the fight. She is following us the whole length of the fence. We get to a water trough hole & 1 of the babies isn’t trailing & is trying to go thru fence. Instead of fighting him, I figure I can just shove him thru. Well, the fence isn’t in the best shape so I have Ellie wait back from me a few steps. I figure that Big Red Cow will be more concerned about me man-handling the calf & be right up by me. Well, the calf isn’t that easy to push threw. Finally, I decide if I throw him down…I can push him under. I have a cow right there in front of me on the other side of the fence...but not Big Red. I look over & she has her head thru the fence & is blowing snot on Ellie! Holy Crap! She must have thought she was a dog or something! Oh wow! She couldn’t get very far thru because her horns were so big but….holy crap! I get Ellie gathered up & throw my calf under the fence. Packing Ellie now, we push the rest of the calves down the alley. The alley also borders the cows corral & Big Red is hitting the fence every inch of the way! Like I mentioned, the fence is old & well…..let’s just say Visions of the “Sandlot” fence coming down crossed thru my mind….& if it did should I cover Ellie with my buddy or try to throw her to the other side. Luckily….the fence stayed up. : ) Now, I just had to get the calves back into the gate ….with the cows in it. Easy enough….well….I have two hot cows hitting the gate. Hmmm, pretty sure I’m gonna put Ellie on the other side of the alley….just in case a cow comes out. That way the 3 year old doesn’t get hooked & maybe she can go get help if I do ;) Big Red finally backs off and goes to the far end of the corral. I get Ellie on the other side of the alley. (She wasn’t happy about that. Then I opened the gate & hurried around my calves as a Cow comes out in the alley. Between Ellie crying & a little pushing from my side….we got them in & the gate chained before the cow even hit the gate again!

Yay! Gather Ellie up & give her a high five for being such help! Whew! (for the record….we are way past 30 minutes right now) Ellie & I head to the house to go see Grandma. Her Grandma Crystal’s car is parked at the house so we go looking for her. No sign of her anywhere so we finally give her a call. She’s went with Regg & David to unload. THEY ARE STUCK! Ya, pickup & horse trailer is stuck. Regg calls from his phone while I’m talking to her. Regg is lining me out about coming to get them. I ask if my car can get to him. He says “No, better bring the feed truck under the shed” The blue MOUSE feed truck???? I ask. Oh great! (MOUSE truck story hasn’t been told yet but it will be in the next installment of tall tales ;) Don’t worry, Ellie & I stopped right there in the yard & shot gunned our boots before we got in the blue beast.

We go get Regg gathered up & help him get the tractor ready to go. I HAVE to GO sign my taxes…tomorrow is due day & I’m out of time. He asks if I can take Ellie with me. That will sure help him. Ok, no problem. I stop & get her car seat. We head to my house to pickup town stuff. We haven’t been in the house 2 minutes…..DANG IT….she has an accident! So we strip down, clean up…& fashion a Toga out of a towel. Feed her some mac & cheese for lunch & head to her house to get clean clothes. For the record, it’s now 2:30 & I am no closer to town than I was an hour ago.

Regg calls, they got the outfit unstuck & are headed back for another load. Wait to drop their kid off. When we pull into grandmas...a young bull is out...& I use my car to buffalo him back down alley so I jump out & get gate. Just one of those days ; )

They get back & I head to town to take care of taxes. I called a friend on my drive to town, as I’m re-telling the “I survived the Hoggan Ranch Tales” ….Dog doesn’t mind, Regg getting hooked, almost hit barn, karate kicking cow, getting snot blown on EllieIt occurs to me….My life would be a lot easier if I was just a little handier.

Oh well, Like I’ve said many a time, I’m like having 2 good guys gone : )

BIG RED Longhorn Cow with her head down....pawing the ground. I think we will name her Peach. This is a good 2 hours since anyones ever been around her. What an honery ol hide!

(this is the cow that hooked Regg & blew snot on Ellie)

Renegade Bull we got in with the car :)

See bulls are's those dang cows you have to watch out for at our house!

Ellie & I making friends with the boys....much easier to get along with than the girls :)

These pics were taking while walking across the bull pen. Notice the proximity of these...compared to the cow pictures...& I thought we were plenty close to the cows :)

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